Quotes about Christmas
I have selected out various themes of quotations to make them a little easier to browse, all these quotes are about 'Christmas'.- Christmas Day is the festival of optimism. (Helen Keller)
- Christmas: The only time of the year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks. (Unknown)
- It is every little girl's dream to be The fairy on a Christmas tree. A wand in her hand, a smile on her face. And a tree in a most peculiar place. (Spike Milligan)
- A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. (Garrison Keillor)
- Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven. (W. C. Fields)
- Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases. (Bridger Winegar)
- Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone. (Charles Schulz) [(1922-2000) American cartoonist Peanuts]
- The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus. (Unknown)
- The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. (Jay Leno)
- Nothing that I can do will change the structure of the universe. But maybe, by raising my voice I can help the greatest of all causes - goodwill among men and peace on earth. (Albert Einstein)
- May all my enemies go to hell, Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel. (Hilaire Belloc)
- A hug is the ideal Christmas gift: one size fits all and nobody minds if you wish to exchange it. (Unknown)
- You don't need it to be Christmas to know when you are sitting next to a turkey. (David Cameron) [on Ed Balls]
- Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money. (Unknown)
- Christmas is a rare occasion when we are reminded that we have obligations to people we did not choose to be related to, and that love is not just a spontaneous feeling but something we sometimes really have to work at, with people we may not even much like. (Julian Baggini) [Author]
- Wishing you Christmas filled with stress, fatigue and anger. Ok, maybe it isn't pretty, but at least it's pretty realistic. (Unknown)
- You know you've grown up when none of the things you want for Christmas can be bought at a store. (Unknown)
- I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things, a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. (Maya Angelou)
- Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. (Phyllis Diller)
- Don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof when your own doorstep is unclean. (Confucius)
- One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December. (C. K. Louis)
- Christmas is not for counting the things that you have lost, but for counting the blessings you still have. Keep a warm heart and spread the joy around you. (Nishan Panwar)
- Love is what is in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen. (Unknown)
- One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. (Andy Rooney)
- Christmas is the season when people run out of money before they run out of friends. (Larry Wilde)
- Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. (Dennis Miller)
- No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible. (Stanislaw Lec)
- Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they're worth the price of a stamp. (Melanie White)
- Santa knows Physics: Of all colors, Red Light penetrates fog best. That's why Benny the Blue-nosed reindeer never got the gig. (Neil deGrasse Tyson)
- Please to put a nickel, please to put a dime. How petitions trickle in at Christmas time! (Phyllis Mcginley)
- The larger a man's roof, the more snow it collects. (Unknown)
- I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. (Mae West)
- The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value. (Charles D Warner)
- No matter what your beliefs, christmas Time is a time for everyone to share good times with family and friends. (Unknown)
- Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money. (Unknown)
- You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger. (Robert Paul)
- Christmas is a season not only of rejoicing but of reflection. (Winston Churchill)
- The two most joyous times of the year are Christmas morning and the end of school. (Alice Cooper) [Rock star]
- Christmas is a state of mind and that special feeling that only comes with an empty bank account. (Melanie White)
- The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. (Joan Rivers)
- It is the apathetic person that sees the cause while the charitable person sees the need. (Shannon L. Alder)
- Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery. (Bill Watterson)
- What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. (Phyllis Diller)
- I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. (Shirley Temple)
- Snowmen fall from heaven ... unassembled. (Unknown)
- There is nothing in the world more beautiful than the forest clothed to its very hollows in snow. It is the still ecstasy of nature, wherein every spray, every blade of grass, every spire of reed, every intricacy of twig, is clad with radiance. (William Sharp)
- It is the personal thoughtfulness, the warm human awareness, the reaching out of the self to one's fellow man that makes giving worthy of the Christmas spirit. (Isabel Currier )
- The threat of Christmas hung in the air, visible already in the fretful look of passersby as they readied themselves for the meaningless but necessary rites of false jovialities and ill-considered gifts. (Peter Dickinson)
- A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours. (John B. Priestly)
- Christmas is a time to reflect on the whole year. A time of renewal and hope, giving, helping and sharing, but most of all, love! (Nishan Panwar)
- From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it. (Katharine Whitehorn)
- Christmas, shouldn't be about gifts, it should be about love, forgiveness, kindness, compassion, to give and be someone's angel when they need it the most. (Nishan Panwar)
- Christmas Tip: This christmas instead of gifting your fat girlfriend a weighing scale, try gifting her a handsome fitness trainer and watch the results. (Unknown)
- Thanks for agreeing not to buy each other anything for Christmas and then making me feel guilty by buying something anyway. (Unknown)
- Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves. (Eric Sevareid)
- Friends are like christmas lights. Some are broke, others just don't work for you, and there are others that make your day shine bright. (Nishan Panwar)
- Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. (Norman Vincent Peale)
- Don't expect too much of Christmas Day. You can't crowd into it any arrears of unselfishness and kindliness that may have accrued during the past twelve months. (Oren Arnold)
- At Christmas, all roads lead home. (Marjorie Holmes)
- It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air. (W. T. Ellis)
- As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December's bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same. (Donald E. Westlake)
- Of course, this is the season to be jolly, but it is also a good time to be thinking about those who aren't. (Helen Valentine)
- If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas. It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to the Smurfs, and it's going to happen to us. (Bart Simpson) [Cartoon Character in The Simpsons]
- At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year. (Thomas Tusser)
- Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. (Unknown)
- Christmas is the day that holds all time together. (Alexander Smith)
- I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway through wrapping them, and I realized, Damn, I used the wrong wrapping paper. The paper I used said, 'Happy Birthday'. I didn't want to waste it, so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it. (Demetri Martin)
- Time always seems long to the child who is waiting - for Christmas, for next summer, for becoming a grownup: long also when he surrenders his whole soul to each moment of a happy day. (Dag Hammarskjold)
- I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time, a kind, forgiving, charitable time, the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. (Charles Dickens)
- Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don't quite know how to put our love into words. (Harlan Miller)
- My husband's idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge. (Melanie White)
- Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present. (Unknown)
- Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us ... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird ... a social being ... capable of actual affection ... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family ... (Berke Breathed)
- Christmas is the time when people light so many bulbs outside of their houses, that you think they're celebrating the birth of General Electric. (Unknown)
- Let's approach Christmas with an expectant hush, rather than a last-minute rush. (Unknown)
- The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for twenty minutes. (Julius Sharpe)
- I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. (Bernard Manning)
- This Lent, I'm giving up fantasizing about all the things I was going to buy with the christmas bonus I never got. (Unknown)
- Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet. (Unknown)
- This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That's it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox. (Anthony Jeselnik)
- I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping. (Steven Wright)
- My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness. (Dave Barry)
- Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home. (Carol Nelson)
- Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time. (Doug Coupland)
- And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more. (Dr Seuss)
- To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance. (Philip Andrew Adams)
- One of the nice things about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with a present. (Unknown)
- Whatever else be lost among the years, Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing: Whatever doubts assail us, or what fears, Let us hold close one day, remembering Its poignant meaning for the hearts of men. Let us get back our childlike faith again. (Grace Noll Crowell)
- I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. (Dick Gregory)
- Christmas makes me happy no matter what time of year it comes around. (Bryan White)
- Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. (Andy Borowitz)
- Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits. (Unknown)
- Dear Santa, give me a big fat bank account and slim body this Christmas. Please, don't mix them up like you did last year. (Unknown)
- I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it? (Charles Schulz) [(1922-2000) American cartoonist Peanuts]
- Don't assume you're always going to be understood. I wrote in a column that one should put a cup of liquid in the cavity of a turkey when roasting it. Someone wrote me that 'the turkey tasted great, but the plastic cup melted. (Heloise)
- Black Friday: The day I can finally jump on the Christmas Bandwagon with the rest of the nuts who started on Halloween. (Unknown)
- Christmas is a holiday that persecutes the lonely, the frayed, and the rejected. (Jimmy Cannon)
- We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup. (Buddy the Elf)
- Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included. (Unknown)
- For somehow, not only at Christmas, but all the long year through, The joy that you give to others is the joy that comes back to you. (John Greenleaf Whittier)
- Using a credit card at Christmas time is like peeing your pants in cold weather. (Unknown)
- I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin. (Winston Spear)
- Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money? (Tom Armstrong)
- A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. (Irish Proverb)
- People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December. (Ogden Nash)
- There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right? (Conan O'Brien)
- The amount of time and energy we spend putting up and taking down holiday decorations tells me our 'top of the food chain' claim is invalid. (Unknown)
- Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. (Richard Lamm)
- Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas. (Peg Bracken)
- I will buy Christmas gifts from Nike, because they are made for kids by kids. (Unknown)
- When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for christmas! (Hussein Nishah)
- Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know... the birth of Santa. (Bart Simpson) [Cartoon Character in The Simpsons]
- This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it's better than all the other ones. (Guy Endore Kaiser)
- There's one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. (Clyde Moore)
- What is the most difficult task for a man at Christmas? To make the kids think that he is Santa Claus, and to make the woman understand that he is not. (Unknown)
- Call a truce, then, to our labors - let us feast with friends and neighbors, and be merry as the custom of our caste; for if 'faint and forced the laughter,' and if sadness follow after, we are richer by one mocking Christmas past. (Rudyard Kipling)
- Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. (Oren Arnold)
- There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas. (Robert Lynd)
- I'm dreaming of the white Christmas. But if white runs out, I'll drink the red. (Unknown)
- Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. (Victor Borge)
- A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'. The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead'. (Unknown)
- Christmas has a way of bringing out the best in everyone. (Bing Crosby)
- Where does the white go when the snow melts? (Unknown)
- I'm buying you the nicest birthday gift that post-christmas clearance sales have to offer. (Unknown)
- Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking? (Arlo Guthrie)
- It's the holiday season. Let the overeating begin! (Melanie White)
See more of Jaynes favourite quotations
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